whate happened to the family

I am probly going to get yelled at for this but o'well. What has happened to this sport. I graduated in 99, when I was a kid there was a tighter bound between all wrestlers. Its seems to me that everyone is out for there own good not the good of the kids. I have had my success, its time for the other kids to have thers. Not just by winning but by growing and learning from the sport as I have. You have parents fighting in the stands coaching fighting on the mat and it teaches the kids that this is appropriate behavior. Clubs in the same town splitting up, parents and coaches in clubs stabbing each other in the back, the list goes on and on. What ever happened to what ever is best for the kid not what is best for mom or dad or coaches ego

Jake Keplar
circle wrestling

I think part of the difference is in your perspective. As a parent, you are more aware of the politics. There were problems in 1999 also.

In 1999 when a club split off, or parents fought in the stands, you probably didn't even know about it unless it directly affected you. Now, you can witness the arguments live on this forum.

There are still tight bonds between most wrestlers and most wrestling families. I speak regularly in person and on the phone to fathers of kids my son has wrestled throughout the years. We attend their practices and they ours. In wrestling, we have made friends of opponents and their families unlike in any other sport.

All that being said, there are some real problems with our society that are reflected in every wrestling tournament, every basketball game and football game. We have made sports more than they really are. We and our children see over and over the newest end zone dances and hockey fights and basketball players going after fans that taunt them mercilessly. Sportsmanship and respect for the game are, at the professional level, largely a thing of the past, and this has trickled down from college to high school and even middle schools.

Some of the things that I think we all enjoy may actually contribute to the problem. For example, the parade of champions with the spotlights and music. It is a nice reward for the wrestlers and exciting for the fans. It's also a prime opportunity for bad sportmanship and may be a little over the top for eight year old athletes.

I still believe that there are very few bad apples in youth wrestling and many many great people out there.

Wow you do have a sierious side, and I totally agree!!!

I think you will have to go back further than '99'. Who can forget, what some of us affectionately refer to as the "T-bone War" of 99 or 00. I never can remember the year for sure but it was during the infancy of this board. I always leave it to Richard Salyer to supply the correct date of those debates but it was exciting to say the least.

I started wrestling when I was 5, the wrestling community was like one big family, its not that way anymore.

Maybe this will make you feel a little better. When we were between the ages of 5 and 12 we were innocent and saw the good in people. I'll bet most of the 5-12 year old kids today still see wrestling as a big family. Unfortunately as adults we see the bad also and usually focus on it instead of the good. Also with the internet things that once were talked about among a few for a little while, are now discussed about by everyone for way too long. The sport hasn't changed that much, just our perception of it.

When I was 5, everything was great.

I have to disagree that there isn't a bond between these wrestlers. My son has made some tremendous friends out of the competitors. Just last weekend, one of them beat him out - the difference between 3rd/4th or 5th/6th. He was really ticked off... but 20 minutes later he was up sitting with him and his family doing "boy" stuff.
Later, when my son was wrestling in his last match - who was right there beside me cheering him on??? That boy's mother. When her son was wrestling... who was cheering him on? Me and my daughters.
I think it is a matter of perspective. This is just one example - I can give you many, many more. The good of the wrestling community out weighs the negative 1,000 to 1!!

lets not all let a few mishaps between other clubs influence our kids. my son has met several kids this year. to watch them play cards less than 5 minutes after wrestling that same kid is something i love to see. win or lose my son still sits and talks to those kids.

Its not that I feel bad beeson this sports has gone to he*&, my grandparents see the difference or were they to young back then to only see the good in people

I still see alot of good people in the sport, Jake was playing with the Brycen Shroeder 1 match before their semi-final match. They still like each other and root for each other.

There are people that I don't get along with...I just avoid them.

There are alot more people that I do get along with, too numerous to name in a post. Alot of Family still in the wrestling community.

Grandma and Grandpa weren't too young. They just remember the good ole days.

Things I remember about my youth wrestling days (1973-1980):

1) We wrestled two times in Hiawatha. Why do I remember that? It snowed both times and I loved the snow (still do).

2) My wrestling career was much like my first and only ski trip to Colorado: ugly in the beginning but not too bad in the later stages.

3) Being a member of the first Kid's Wrestling club Belleville Kansas ever sent to the mat (I think - 5 of us in 1973).

4) The first tournament I beat a kid in a match early in the day and lost to him that afternoon (cost me the 3rd/4th place match).

5) Getting a ride home from a tournament by our coach in his (I think light green) Opal. He had a lot of curly hair back then(kind of like the teacher on Welcome Back Kotter). Some of you down around Wellington might have known him as Coach Decker.

6) After going undefeated in Jr High my 8th grade year, my parents didn't have the $10 to enter me in Kids Federation that year. My oldest brother who was at CCCC in Condordia sent me a check for the entry fee so I wouldn't miss the season. Not sure where the money came from for four or five tournaments I wrestled that year, including Subs and Districts.

7) Losing three straight years to a young man from Beloit named Matt Treaster. The last match we wrestled was at Districts in the '79-'80 season in Junction City. Final score: 2-7. How could I remember that? My Mom found the note pad I kept all my wrestling results from that year and sent it to me here while I have been on active duty.

8) Eating orange slices and melba toast with honey on them during the tournaments. Guess that is all my parents could afford to send with me.

9) Hanging out with my other brother and his girlfriend when I was 10 or 11 before the finals of the Belleville tournament (probably not his choice) and finishing second that day. My first experience that having a beautiful young lady around was not in my best interest during the wrestling season.

10) Riding with another family to a couple of wrestling tournaments and in one of those new Panel Vans listening to an
8-track tape of a comedy routine by George Carlin (something to do with a flatuation contest to the best of my memory).

I have many other memories from those years in regards to wrestling, yet these are some of the most special to me. I hope that my sons look back when they are in their 40s and have as fond of memories about this sport as I do. I too, as a father of a wrestler and a coach, have met a lot of wonderful people the last seven years. I also met a lot of great people when I was a volunteer coach for the Lawrence Jr Wrestling club 3 years back in the late '80s while in college. The wrestling families are much like the military in that you meet a lot of really good people, a few quirky ones, but most of all, you share a special bond that is hard to experience doing other things.

From Bellville around 83-84 @ Jayhusker Invitational (Marysville)I remember a couple Bettis boys I believe Troy and Tony who were pretty fair wrestlers.

Tony and Troy were two of our original five that I spoke of in my post. They were a year older than me and a good 15-20 pounds lighter, but they still beat the stuffing out of me back then. I moved to Pratt in 1980 and wrestled there my four years of High School. Funny thing about the Bettis twins, had I stayed in Belleville, I was seriously considering playing basketball in High School because I didn't look forward to going against those two in practice for three more years.

DPloyd...this is a great memory for you to share. As someone who knew coach Decker as a teacher and a coach as well, long before I met you, I can only laugh at the picture I had in my mind of this. Take care of yourself and I look forward to having you back at the STA wrestling room next year!

Troy Gooch

I totally agree Beeson!!!! Michael Spangler won 4-0 against my son in the semis and not 10 minutes later he is up talking with him and his father just like friends would do.

Troy,

Tell Gabe I thought he did a great job this year. I am so glad he extended his season as long as he did. He is one tough cookie. You are right about Coach Decker. He had a tremendous influence on my life at such a young age, not just as a great coach, but also as a human being. Luckily for me, I had a wonderful coach and mentor in High School as well.

I think the wrestling family is still there....my son has made many of friends from other towns over the years. We have opened our house up to them, as we are this weekend, and he talks to them year round. That is what makes wrestling stand above most other sports...the kids can wrestle each other to the bitter end, but after the match is over..it is over and they are planning when they will visit each other in the off season.

we have made so many friends this year, it's funny, now if we see Priddy and Casteel wrestling all we can do is cheer, "come on boys" or give one a cheer followed by a cheer for the other one. It's that way with many of our new friends, we wish them all the best and hope to see them in the off season for fun times as well.

I agree whole heartedly, my son has always made friends with his opponents. I took my son camping for his B-day last year and he invited his toughest opponent & some of his teammates they had a ball!!!

I do think some of you are missing Jake's point. I do not think he is talking about the kids, I think he is talking about us adults. And, maybe its something we should all look at. The kids appear to be fine, except for points made by Windjammer. My kid has numerous finds on the circuit, but the adults - we got some work to do.

Windjammers first post on this was excellent.

I think for the most part even us Adults get along. Dan Gentzler had Jake and I to his practice this season, he had three wrestlers in Jake's weight.

Ark City had extra rooms reserved we gave them to our good friends from WWC, Ayala's, Mills, and Stuart's.

We also got two rooms for our friends the Schroeder's, Brycen was in Jake's bracket at State.

At the Hotel we hung out and had some refreshments with the Derby wrestling club which we think the world of. The day before we hung out with El Dorado.

Jake warmed up with Tanner Hitchcock at state, his father and I get along great, even though he is ahead of Jake 3-1.

We spent New Years with the Spangler's. Tracy always finds Jake and tells him hi at tournaments.

Two years ago when Jake and Kesean Deshazer were battling against each other, we would practice with TOHK and were welcomed. I still have a good relationship with his father and think the world of his kids.

There are several fathers and parents I have met this year that are great; Tate Steels dad, Kolton Meditz dad, Jared Parenti's dad, Coach Bill, Kevin McKracken (Kales dad), Ryker Sims dad, Kaj Perez's dad, the list goes on and on...our kids compete against each other, and as Adults we get along and respect each other.

Don't let one or two incidents ruin it. There are great people in the wrestling community and for the most part we get along.

I apologize for the great people I left off the list but the post was getting rather lengthy.

Every time I walk on the mat, whether the practice room or at a tournament, I still see Coach Decker congratulating me after winning my first match as a 7th grader. I just hope that I make each kid feel as special after each match, as i did that evening. He had a way of driving you to the edge and then holding you up high when you succeeded. Those of you who know Coach Decker will probably remember a favorite saying of his. He always blamed his lack of chest hair on the fallacy that "hair doesn't grow on well toned muscle". By the way, he was a great government teacher and person, as well as a great coach. Tony and Troy Bettis wrestled for Belleville through "83. I believe that Tony won a state title in '82.

Most of these kids just want to have fun. Yes, they do want to win, but 10 minutes after the match they are off playing with their buddies - who might have just beat them or vice versa. My boy lost to Boo at state last year in the second round, but he will try to watch every one of Boo's matches just to see how he does, and to see how he does it. 5 minutes after his district finals match with Kaj Perez he was holding a spot in the t-shirt line for Kaj, while Kaj went and got something to drink. When he got back in line I would have paid a lot of money to find out what they were laughing and giggling about. He told me it was a secret and would not give in. We all need to remember - KIDS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN!!!!!

Thanks, Lee.

As for cheering for your opponents, my son, has usually had a kid from his own club (even when we were in Salina) who gets to stay on the front side of the bracket longer...often to the finals, and we are right there cheering him on. We enjoy getting to practice against that kind of talent all the time, too. It can only make both of 'em better.

It is a common site to see either of my sons hanging out with the kids in their bracket laughing and joking ...or trading tips on how to "wrestle" someone coming up that day. The coaches and dads/moms of several kids we see each weekend never hesitate to say hi, give a wave or a thumbs up or high five when one of my boys win a match...or a "you'll get'em next time" if they lose. My youngest looks for Tristan Star and Tyler Harris at all tourneys...and my oldest Tyler Hughes and Spencer Blew...just to name a couple. My husband and I enjoy a laugh or two with the dads and moms. We've come to think of the wrestling community as an expanded "family" of sorts. Some people will ask "how do you sit all day just to watch for a few minutes?" and I'll say .."There is action all day...we have kids that we watch at each tourney that are not in our club..so there is almost never a break in the action for us! We cheer for a wide range of wrestlers...from the kids in 16u who my older son wrestled during varsity wrestling and won't meet again until next year, the one who beat my youngest and went onto win at Wichita. The kids from Paola, from the WWC, Horton, Atchison, too many to mention. We have made good friends from all over...share good times and bad each season. At the end of the season we are already looking forward to seeing them next fall. (as I type this my husband just updated me that along with my son, Lucas, that Tyler Harris and Tristan Star have both wrestled and won their first matches at Brute and will be up and ready to go again shortly....GO BOYS!!! )
So I think the Family is still there....you just make it what you want it to be! So make it a good experience for both your kids and yourself.

Kim Lovvorn

5 Gs Dad
Are you any relation to Josh Gooch? I remember growing up in Wellington and at my age (Josh was in my grade) the wrestling team and coach decker were the kings of the school! They brought home state titles in wrestling and football. We were at Wellington for Subs and to see the guys down there who are running the club just brings back those memmories. Coach Decker was the coolest!

I hope that I don't step on any toes here but there is still a family atmosphere in kids wrestling. At districts my son was wrestling his second round match and after he won and came off the mat I was about the fifth person to tell him good job. There were three other kids and there coaches there to shake his hand and tell him how well he did. He ended up sixth and for his first year that was just fine with me but what happend after was awsome. The boy that beat him gave him a hug on the mat and two other boys he has wrestled all year long took him off to the side and congratulated him. It really made me realize that these kids want to win but also put friendship first and maybe us as coaches and parents could learn from our children a little more. I'm as bad as anyone and want to make the experience as good as possible for all of the kids that I coach.

Josh is my cousin. Coach Decker was great, not only as a coach, but as a teacher too. It was great to see him elected into the Kansas High School Hall of Fame.

I think I have to agree that my own experience in Kansas wrestling as been like one big ol weekend to weekend family. I have to say that Kim Lovvorn I agree with your great post and Tristan loves to look for Lucas as much as he looks for Tristan. I have come to know a group of kids my son Tristan Star has wrestled for the last few years and now cheer for them passionatly every time they step on the mat. It was only a few years ago when Tristan was battling Lucas Lovvorn, Garret Dunlap, Tyler Harris, Taylor Watkins, Sam Carver, and Andrew Blanton every weekend and they were always going back and fourth. Through them I have met there parents and now love to stop and chat and cheer them on at every tourney. It was a great joy this state tourney when some of these kids were called out in the stoplight for the finals one after the other! I kept my camera rolling while cheering just as loud as if they were my own son. This year we have come to meet some new kids, Justin Rieschick and Willy Diekman along with their awsome parents. Tristan battled with them all year long and again great relationships were formed not only between the kids on the mat but also the parents matside! Our wrestling family just keeps growing with every season!

With the job I work and KU making the final four my chance of getting my son to the Brute Nationals and even coaching him in the finals almost didn't happen! Alan Clothier's mother Becky snatched him up and got him to the tourney. And all though I was able to make the start of the tourney with a few minutes, Willy's dad Kurt was ready to jump in and coach Tristan with out hesitating! To you both I thank you. This is why I totally disagree with wrestling not being a family anymore. To me it hasn't changed from when I stepped on the mat for 4th grade 80 lbs back in 1984 in North Dakota! In our Native American language there is no word for "goodbye" and so we always say "I'll see you later!" It has been another fun season. So to my old and new wrestling family, "Me and Tristan will see you later!"

Bronson Star

I am fairly new to this sport and I think the point to all of this is that as a whole this use to be a family sport but now the thing I think it is missing is loyalty. People change clubs and move from one to another constantly. The people that I have spoken to have nothing good to say about the club they left. To me that is not the way it should be. It is okay to leave a club or join a new one or even make your own but dose it really have to be because of drama. Why dose the drama have to continue once you have left. Most of the time when someone leaves a club or what ever it doesn't really have anything to with the children involved, it has to do with the adults that can't seem to get along. I hope this has not offended anyone it is not my purpose. I just want people to stop and think about what all has been said here and then maybe use some of the good advice.
With all of that said I have meet some wonderful and some not so wonderful people just like in any other sport. This truly is an amazing sport and makes the children involved in it truly amazing children. I feel very privileged that my child has chosen this and that I get to be a part of it.

Just so ever knows the post above is from Jakes wife

I don't know.