The reason this forum is so great is that you have people who have been there, and done that, and they come back to give advice and share the knowledge that they have gained over the years.

Having wrestled from the age of eight all the way through High School, a couple of years of intramural competition in college, coaching Kid's Fed for three years in college, and now having coached another nine years since my own children first started wrestling, I feel the need to express some thoughts. I guess you could say that I have been there, and done that.

With my second son in his tenth year on the mat and entering his High School career as a freshman, it is something that I can't seem to get off my mind this time of year. I have tried hard not to be that parent/coach that is "living my life vicariously through my kid".

This is an interesting turn for me personally. This is what he has sacrificed for, sweat, bled, and at times cried for. I am very proud of him for the effort that he has put out over the years. I am just looking for some feedback from those of you who have been there, and done that. I do get wrapped around the axle too much when it comes to wrestling, just ask my wife. Your thoughts.

Just remember that everytime they come off the mat, win or lose. That they need a father a heck of a lot more than they need another coach. After 10 years of wrestling they know what they did wrong and if they don't their coach does. They don't need another coach they need a parent who is proud of them no matter what. Once you come to grips with this (yeah it took me a while) the pressure seems to abate for both of you. Try to learn to sit back and enjoy the efforts you have both put into this instead of getting so wound up. It seemed to work for me and my sons.

Brad

+1

"Just remember that everytime they come off the mat, win or lose. That they need a father a heck of a lot more than they need another coach."

+2

Very sound advice Brad. I will definitely take it to heart and keep it fresh in my mind before, during and after every one of his matches. Bill and Greg, thanks for reinforcing Brad's advice. I am looking forward to being the dad he needs.

What if your their coach and their father?
I already have had to learn to cope with this already with my 8 year old and 5 year old, they just want me to tell them I am proud of them, win or lose. And really this sport is about teaching someone to be self-reliant, mentally tough, and to learn about working hard for something worthwhile.
Winning is secondary, although it is what we all strive for, wrestling is more about learning to be a man.
Just my two-cents. And you can never tell them you love them or are proud of them too often. Kids today do not hear that enough!

Coach Brown

That is a dilemma that I am glad I won't have to face. The last two years when my son was wrestling Junior High, I was happy to have his coach teach him the things he needed to know. I think he developed more in those two years than he did the previous seven. I know his High School coach will do the same, and I am thankful for that as well. It is time for me to be his dad and not one of his coaches.