I understand the ‘respect your opponent no matter what that gender’ (race, height, no discrimination) argument, however can Tayton be FORCED to wrestle her? Not really.

Let’s just pretend you get him to go out on the mat to ‘wrestle’ her. He does not want to be there. So, he just sticks his hand out for a 'shake', the whistle blows, he lets her headlock him and throw him to the mat for a quick and easy pin because he just does not care. Then of course, he storms off of the mat that you MADE him go on to . . . quite possibly to never return to that mat EVER again.

Is the above, really worth all of that? How many high school girl state champions (and I mean no disrespect to girls wrestling boys – I admire their courage) do you know that are wrestling with young men? “None” would be my answer after being around wrestling for about 40 years.

As a parent (and a teacher) I would talk to him at a calm moment in a very soft voice and say something to this effect (and the shorter the better):

“Son, I love you and always will no matter what. As you may or may not know, sometimes in life we have to make some very hard decisions. Some people like to make life a very B/W kind of thing. Rarely is it that way (give a few examples to him if you want).”

Then take the role as a CONSULTANT, rather than an over-controlling parent – it’s his life. Let him make his choices. This does not involve something legal or illegal (I will not get into the ethical nature of the situation because I believe it varies from person to person).

“Son, do you mind if I go over some things that you might not have thought of regarding wrestling that girl?” If he says, "sure Dad. Let’s talk about it."

THEN, he is teachable at that moment, on this subject. So, do what a consultant would do. Show him as many options and possible consequences of his actions. Teach him about respect. Teach him about empathy. Be a good therapist. Ask him lots of questions in a kind way, not threaten, guilt-producing questions.

Basically, the choice is his. You CANNOT FORCE HIM TO WRESTLE. That just simply makes no logical sense. Think about it. Saying with a FIRM VOICE, "You will wrestle her, and you will try your best! Do you understand me boy?!" That is an unenforceable statement. It is unenforceable because you cannot control his arms, legs, body.

Here is an ENFORCEABLE statement,” if you do not clean up your room, then I will NOT give you your weekly allowance.”

I'm writing 'all over the place' due to several distractions going on around me. I am sorry about that.

In a nutshell, it is his life. You cannot force him to wrestle. If you did 'force' him to wrestle, what will it do emotionally, long-term to him? Are you willing to potentially pay that big of price? Yes, it is sad for the girl and I think he should be told this. But you are responsible for your son, not her (that is her parent’s job). It will not be the first time (or last) that something like this has/will happen to her. It is just a simple, hard fact of life that any girl in her situation will have to deal with this kind of thing often.

I have empathy for all involved. Often times in life, hard - hard decisions have to be made. Life is tough. Thankfully however, it is not a life or death decision.

Many, many teachable moments here. Good luck and love you boy and respect his decision is what I would do.

Martin Luther (of the Protestant Reformation of the 1500’s – not the one of the 1960’s) put it well:

“To go against one’s own conscience is neither safe nor wise.” Well, something like that, again my three noisy daughters are driving me nuts right now as I type this. But they are kids and I am choosing at this moment to do what kids do and NEED to do, have fun, release some energy.

Anyway the loose paraphrase is still valid. It seems like your son has a serious conviction about this situation. Therefore, I believe to try to get him to go against it, would be, “neither safe nor wise.”

That is just my long-winded two cents worth. My apologies for not being able to put my thoughts together in a more concise manner.

Please keep me informed. As a human and a teacher and a parent, I am very interested in how all this plays out. You could PM me if you didn't want to share with the whole board.

However, if you never want to communicate with me ever again in any fashion, I will think no less of you. I respect your right to never communicate with me ever again, if that is what you chose. Freedom is a cool thing. Even for little boys, growing up to be young men. We learn a lot from freedom. And what is the opposite of freedom? And how much does a slave learn? Things to think about. Again, I wish all involved the best. Sincerely.