My son started at 6, wrestled his first open tournaments and sub-district at the age of 8, and qualified for State for the first time last year at the age of 11 (after wreslting six years). This year, he will have his hands full just to make it back to Districts. Believe me, if your child has to wait a few years to make it to the "big show", it's not all bad. I have more passion about the sport of wrestling than I do all other sports combined. You are right when you tell your kids that wrestling is the most difficult sport that they will participate in, or at least I believe. I couldn't be any more proud of my son for what he accomplished last year. For those of you who have to wait for your child to make it to State, I can tell you that it is worth it (and more). And, if you are getting ready to categorize me into the "well, you don't have a six year old any more" group, save your key strokes. I hope to have my five year old on the mat for a few tournaments next year and I still have one that will have to wait another four years before he can give it a shot (if he wants to). I have no regrets about bringing my 12 year old along gradually, and will not do anything different for his two younger brothers.

One more thing I felt compelled to mention. My oldest boy started when he was 8 (for those of you keeping track, that makes four boys total). He wrestled three years and won four matches total. If you have a wrestler that has the ability as a six year old to seriously consider making a run for State, even in an U8 bracket, be thankful for what you have. If you have to be patient, be patient. Their time will come.

I think we need to look at who wants the 6&u @ state is it the kids or the parents. Do they have a state champ. tourn. for the 6yr olds in baseball, football, basketball no then why would we want to push them into that kind of competion in wrestling.

January 16, 2008, 9:30 am – Wall Street Journal
Life’s Not Fair, How to Break it to Your Kids
Posted by Sara Schaefer Munoz
“It’s not fair!”


Betsy Brown Braun, “Just Tell Me What to Say,” - Wall Street Journal

• Eliminate “that’s not fair” from your own daily usage. Adults say this more than they realize.
• Stop trying to treat your kids equally. If one child needs new shoes, buy shoes only for him. Trying to be equal only fuels the child’s belief that life is supposed to be fair.
• Tolerate the protest. Getting agitated can show the child that she’s got reason to be upset. Instead, say, “I know. Life sure isn’t fair.”
• Allow your child to be disappointed. Learning to tolerate disappointment is one of the most important childhood lessons and crucial to independent adulthood.




Comment by CD - January 16, 2008 at 10:00 am - Wall Street Journal

I’m pretty callus - us about it. I say, “That’s right, life’s not fair and you’re living at the top of the heap”. People all over the world don’t have enough food to eat, access to clean water, education, basic medicine, etc We talk about those thing in our house. We also pick charities to support (through food drives for the local food pantry, donations to the local shelter in lieu of birthday presents, supporting a school in Africa that has some local ties) that reinforce both that we can all help and that we have plenty. I don’t know if it’s completely working, the kids are still kids that want stuff, but they don’t bitch and moan as much when they don’t get it.


Comment by Houston - January 16, 2008 at 10:20 am - Wall Street Journal
My kids don’t whine about fairness, but about equality (kid A getting a more expensive birthday present than kid B.) I tell them that I don’t treat them equally, but I do treat them fairly. Kid B’s turn will come at the appropriate time.

Comment by T-wife to 1,mom to 4 - January 16, 2008 at 10:43 am - Wall Street Journal

Ok, I have found that the best way to deal with this with my 3 to 6 year olds is to say “equal is not fair” as in “do you want to have to nap with the baby? Then you would be equal?” This clears that complaining up very quickly.
Also, We work every day on fostering joy for others. We achieve this by linking it with service. i.e. The kitchen helper has to take a bite to a sibling, and give it nicely and then they can get one for themselves. Oranges, cheese, olives, the first pancake, etc. I think it helps to see the joy in the surprised face of a brother or sister just before you savor something.
Then we can teach the purpose of life and excellence without the distraction of inequallity.

Here is one I do not understand and it is not fair.
I am paying taxes in Kansas and subsidizing other kids at KU, K-State, and Wichita State in other sports and no state supported wrestling program - D-I. None of these schools offer wrestling - only club and an unpaid coach. The kids in this state do have an opportunity to wrestle at Ft. Hays, Newman & the Junior colleges but that is as high as they can reach. We are sending some of our brightest and most talented wrestlers out of state to get an education afer high school. No Chance and Not Fair. I hear all the time business leaders and politicians complaining about Kansas has brain drain - which means kids leave the state and they do not come back to Kansas to work after college. This is hard for me to comprehend - but they have to have the opportunity to stay. But life is not fair and I'll move on.

well said! and with information to back it up!

i will be there with my 5 year old son. i think it is a good deal and all 6u should participate. my son is 5 and has no business trying to wrestle up to 7 and 8 if your kid is truly 6 and under and not 7 by the cut off date you don't need to wrestle up they have plenty of years ahead of them in the older brackets... he will be pumped up and trust me if he wins it will seem like a state championship to him!

kelly kitchener

Randy, My apologies. The picture painted was out of line.

Chad Beeson

Goodness… I wish we could get so worked up and heated about something that really mattered like – the education of our children, safety of our children, or health of our children – but whining about no 6 and Under Division for Kids State Wrestling…wah..wah… wah! But, in all “fairness” this is a wrestling forum. But, really, what are we teaching our kids, by agreeing with them that it is “unfair” that they cannot wrestle at the BIG State with the big boys because there is no 6 and Under? Try using this as a teaching tool.. sometimes in life we have to go against the odds or choose another route. I told my 7-year-old that he can go to the 6 and Under Championships and if he wants to wrestle at subdistricts he can do that too but he will be wrestling older kids in the 8 and under group. He doesn’t care and wants to try. And in all honesty, he will most likely get beat out. That’s okay though because he will come back next year with hopefully more determination and might! I think it is all about how you present it to the kids.. we as parents have a huge role in how they choose to interpret things. Do the kids see it as “It’s not fair that I have to wrestle older kids to get to state while everyone else wrestles their own age level.” Or “The 6 and Unders are special in that they get their own STATE. AND bonus, if I want to compete against the 8 and unders, there is a chance I could do both! BUT.. another bonus, if I do not make it, I will cheer my big brother on and hope he makes it because it is a great experience for the whole family and something I can work to achieve too !”

Just my 2 cents… from a Mom with 2 very competitive boys: It does not hurt them one bit to be the one cheering on their sibling while they sit in the stands..and in fact it is moments like these I cherish.

I echo what someone may have already mentioned, is it the kids who really want the change or the parents?

I really agree with the above post by my2boyz. At any age its really about getting ready for high school. I know some of the parents who have posted on this thread really want their kids to be able to go to state. But, they fail to consider the logistics of it. They talk about fairness, etc. Life is not that easy. I believe most of us have our kids in wrestling because it will prepare them for the ups and especially the downs of life. One on one on a mat is nothing like basketball or football. Will C. gave a good suggestion. If you like it or not, at least there is a plan put forth. This forum is great, just look at the Missouri forum to see how much more advanced we are than them. This forum should provide for an exchange of ideas that allows us to correct/improve things. Either we find a way to give 6U's a sanctioned kids state or it stays the way it is - 2 tournaments competing. But, putting them at the current state tournament will not work. And, I like the idea of moving the 16U to the other side at state and giving more room to the other kids.

Finally, smokey is right, life was never intended to be fair. Teaching our kids that at an earlier age will help them cope with life much better.

This issue comes up every year, if you support it come up with an idea to make it work - or pick between the other 2 options.

I talked to several parents and coaches today while I was at the Maize tournament. Most of the ones I talked to said they were finished last year at the state tournament when it was still daylight outside. So whoever said it would make it that much longer can stop whining. Life is not fair your right. Wrestling is fair if we as parents and coaches make it fair. You can stop with all the other sports and about the teaching at school cause its not the same. I dont think you are really looking at the reasons why there is not 6 and under. I heard cause it takes too long, it makes less room, and life isnt fair so deal with it. Ok lets say this. Starting next year we will not have 14 and up cause they already have the oppurtunity to wrestle for a jr. high and thats that. live with it and stop whining. It wont take that much longer to run the 6 and under and wont take up that much room if they move the older kids into another room. The obvious reason for adding the 6 and under is they do what every other age group does and are forced to wrestle up if they want a chance to wrestle at state. Thats all im say from here on out. You all can call me a cry baby, whiner or what ever but I will fight for my kids rights just like anyone else. Even when my kids get out of the 6 and under I still enjoy watching those kids wrestle more so than some of those older kids that are lazy anyways.

I suppose if you don't live in Ulysses or Garden City, you might not mind wrestling until dark on Sunday.

What does Ulysses or Garden city to have to do with anything if your kid makes it to state? It should be a privilage to make state not a matter of where you live.

Wow, you can miss a lot if you don't read the forums for a few days.

My Caveat: It's partly for me...

I will admit it. I get some real personal pride and vicarious satisfaction through my boys' wrestling. I didn't really wrestle, so I am not reliving my life, but I won't be coy and say none of this is for me. I'll admit I like seeing them place or get close to placing at state. We still emphasize at every tourney this is for fun and I tell them I love them regardless of how they finish. Try hard, do your best, use what you've learned, try to improve. If you win, great. But that being said, I would love to see my boys finish as high as possible at state.

So, now that I have admitted what I bet is true for most of us, I think we should have a 6U state. We keep score all year, declare places, hand out medals, and everything else that delineates first from the others. There is nothing wrong with having a year end-tourney to see where everyone stands.

Next, due to clear demand, we are actually going to have a 6U state. In fact, it is in such demand, we are having two this year. I think the debate about whether have it at all or whether they are old enough to care, etc... is a moot point. The 64 man brackets at Ottawa show there is interest.

Next, I don't care where we have it as long as there is only one of them. If you can fit it into "State" at Topeka, great, do it. If not, hold it somewhere else at some other time. As some posters said last Fall when I raised the question about the two locations, the State body needs to step up and make this its tourney.

Granted, we all know it's been voted down in the past. Our society and government regularly revisit legislation, plans, proposals after a decision has been made. It commonly occurs each year. It is time to officially revisit this one.

Finally, we have been to Ottawa for the past two years and plan to return this year. I am 98% sure we won't go to Topeka. Having two tourneys is totally pointless. There are logistical reasons like a Friday tourney, the day before Districts, another day of travel and missing work, but mostly it's because who wants to have two finishes at two different states? We'll stick with the one that has put in the time, has run a good tourney, and has traditionally had the best wrestlers in the state fight it out. If he goes 0-2, so be it. I am not interested in a second chance just to have it at a bigger location.

Well put, I agree totally!

Ditto here!!!

Bravo

I agree about revisting this issue BUT it is wasted time in an already busy day at the meeting, until we can convince the clubs in District 1 that 6U State is a good idea. You know District 1? They are the district that routinely votes against a 6U State while holding not one but two unofficial 6U state tournaments.

District 1 does not host the tournamnent with the title state on it. It is an open tournament for 6 & unders only hosted by clubs within the district. There is no qualifier tournament - thus it is an open tournament. District 2,3 or 4 could host a tournament just like Liberty Nationals, or Tulsa Nationals or Reno Nationals and call it the Kansas World Cup. Just like Brute Nationals held in Kansas City - it is an open tournament. All those tournaments are regional open tournaments because no qualifier is required.

Sean McCarthy
STA Kids Club

I did not intend to imply that District 1 hosts the 6U tournaments but rather they take place within District 1 boundaries. Either way I find it just a tad hypocritical.