Abdominal Pliers I

Word has come to my attention that my long lost uncle, Gutwrench I, has been posting on this forum. Please forgive him for any insulting remarks that he may have made towards Kansas wrestlers. You see uncle Gut fell off a couch on his porch several years ago and banged his dome on a gnome, which was quite a decorative addition to his trailer front. That blunt trauma to the head, led to the tragic diagnosis of iamanidiotitis.

Uncle Gut escaped from a state run institution in Missouri and has not been seen for some time. Although not physically a threat, he is a registered vex offender in a number of Mid-Western states. (For those at UNK: Vex means to disturb or annoy, especially in a petty way).

He has a way of luring innocent high school wrestlers in by promoting promising ways to fulfill their dream of becoming a state champion at the beginning of the season, only to belittle and berate them, at the season’s conclusion. It is a truly tragic disease.

He unfortunately has a secondary diagnosis of selective amnesia and is unable to recall his own name or where he lives, but can list countless wrestling credentials that he has obtained without hesitation, quite a devastating plight for a man to deal with.

If anyone does run into Uncle Gut or is able to identify his whereabouts, please contact the Missouri Hospital for the Verbally Insane. They will be glad to get him back.

Again, I would like to apologize for my uncle’s behavior, he may not have fallen off the turnip truck but he did fall off the sofa, so cut the man some slack.

Good Luck Kansans at the Metro Classic

Sincerely,

Abdominal Pliers I

Very well written with nice spelling and grammar. Hmm... wonder who this is..... I have a guess.

There you go! Punch back with some caustic wit of your own. I do appreciate it. I just hope them KS boys has as much fight in 'em come Mar 7.

Gut,
Check your pm's

Why if it isn't my grandson Abdominal Pliers I!

I haven't seen you since the reunion! How is your brother Belly Hammer 1 doing?

I also must apologize for the actions of gutwrench1. I tried to raise him the best i could, but there is only so much a father can do. Why, I remember all the trouble he would get into when he was just a young tool, completely free of rust, and staying out till the wee hours of the night. I suppose i just thought that he would mature and grow out of it. Obviously I was wrong.

Good luck to you Kansans

Intestinal Screwdriver 1 Esq.

Was there an Arkansas style family reunion between the tool(s) in Ames, Iowa yesterday at the Big 5 Wrestling Championships?

Hilton Coliseum is a great facility however the five (5) plus hour drive at 75-85 miles per hour is a long one. The arena has wireless internet access for us junkies to keep up with the rest of the wrestling world between the far too long wait between sessions. Special thanks to the athletic department for providing assistance on the log in.

Did not get over to the Missouri section to visit as there was uncertainty how the orange shirt and white Resistol would be received by the Tiger fans.

The Kansas wrestlers tournament records and placement!

Austin DeVoe (1-2) Fourth Place out of five
Tyler McCormick (1-1) Second Place
Chris McCormick (0-2) Fifth Place
Jacob Klein (1-1) Second Place
Justin Dyer (0-2) Fifth Place

Overall win/loss record of 3-8!

This thread makes me think that Gutwrench should change his sign-on to "Rectal Jackhammer", as most of his posts kinda resemble that tool.

Plan on being at the Metro Classic to see him in the tutu, with or without the bear.

This thread is pretty funny, you guys crack me up.