There will be some wrestlers who are wresting their last kids state championship. I thought this would be a good place to share about some of the things we as coaches, parents, or wrestlers have experienced over the years. Please keep it positive.
Over the years I have attended 14 Kids State Championships, (including Novice and Open) either as a dad, a coach, or an official. This year will be my last attending as a dad of a wrestler. I just thought I would share a little insight. Nothing is as important as being a parent. It is why I chose this year to be first and foremost a dad. There is a ton of debate about coaching your kids but over the years, my experience tells me, first and foremost, love your kid, let them know you are a parent.
For those who have kids going to state, this in and of itself is an accomplishment. Not every kid can win state, there are many more that never get there. A lot of things could happen, and any kid can step it up.
I will never forget some of the matches my son wrestled. The first time at Novice State in Oklahoma he took 3rd, Then in the Open division he didn’t place, the next year he won Novice, but again didn't place in Open. Then there is the last year in Oklahoma he beat a great kid who has become a great friend, Jeremy Goree. Then there the experiences in Kansas, the first time walking into the Expo Center and realizing this state had the best kids fans in the country. The year against Aaron Hoag in a match that went to overtime and Aaron wrestled one of the best matches I have ever seen him wrestle. The time Darrin Stroot was ahead with 10 seconds to go by 2, Nate reversed him to his back, then last year, where I didn’t get to see the first 2 periods of the match against a great kid Trent Cox. The most memorable time though was the year Tyler Graebner lost his battle with cancer.
Bottom line, kids are going to be kids and to a parent, they will always be your kid. I have such a strong belief that this sport needs to celebrate the kid for what they do in a good way. Over the years I have seen so many parents or coaches mat side, in the stands, and in the hallways of a venue, telling a kid what they should do. Thankfully many of the times the approach was in love, but I am sad to say there were other times the approach was either abusive or bordering on abuse. Celebrate the kids accomplishment because those kids need to be celebrated and recognized for their efforts. Leaving a good and lasting impression will be one of the most important things that will have that kid wanting to wrestle the next season.
I have to confess, for a good many years, I was a horrible example. I coached and yelled, I was abusive and not understanding. Now, especially with the high school kids, when given the honor to coach, I watch the clock, I ask about rules interpretations when need be, and I watch the score. I realize I can’t really coach that much from the sideline during a match. If I or the other coaches haven’t done their job during the week, then I can’t expect to suddenly do it during a match.
This weekend will be a sad time for our family, a sad time because after 14 state kids championships being there as a parent will be over. There are a ton of people one could thank, but especially the coaches, whether those coaches from Oklahoma including, Owasso, Tulsa Rangers, or Oologah, and in Kansas from all over including of course our home team, Derby, then Central Kansas, TOHK, and even individuals like Eric Akin. Others continue to help and coach, I appreciate that.
On a closing note, many often complain about the length of time at tournaments, I understand that as I was among those very people. I can also tell you that the best and most sincere friends I have on this planet, aren’t those from a church, a neighbor, or even a former school mate. They are wrestling people, people I met at those tournaments. We get out of life what we put into it and let come back to us in return. To those who gave back, thanks from the bottom of my heart.
To all of the volunteers, you have no idea sometimes what you give when you volunteer to do the things you do. To all of those, I also say thank you, thank you for not just making a great tournament possible for the kids, but for giving life memories that will last a lifetime.
