At our house we don't tell our son or our daughter that winning matters the most. We ask them; Did you have fun, and Did you try your best. If we hear yes then we are happy. Teach them have fun and to try to learn something from their activity and we will all be better off. And to be honest, we will be going to 6-U state, but if we didn't it not the end of the world of us or to our son.