I'm going to help you out Doug. My first year of wrestling, I was first year 12U. I loss a close match in sub-districts. I thought the other kid had stalled, and he may have, but he was the one ahead. After the match I threw a terrible fit, telling the kid to meet me out in the parking lot and we would finish this. My dad heard me, took me by both shoulders and slammed me up against the wall. He then grabbed me by the chin so we would be eye to eye, and told me I already had my chance to whip that kid. If I wanted another chance, it would be on the mat. He also informed me if I did not change my attitude there would not be a next time, because I would be done with wrestling.
Now was he right or wrong? In my opinion he handled it perfectly. I never threw another fit on the wrestling mat. To a passerby he may have looked abusive.
I will agree choking is wrong. By the way the dad reacted to the wife telling him to stop, this dad was probably wrong.
One more from me and then I'll let it go. A similar situation to the one you described above occurred in our family. All it took was me quietly stating that if this behavior ever occurred again, he would be “benched” or whatever the wrestling equivalent is. He knew I was serious without ever raising my voice and it worked. Four years later, never another problem with sportsmanship. Sometimes you might get surprising results trying something different and unexpected from what your kid usually sees from you. If I ever needed to employ stronger discipline, it would be over something much more serious than wrestling, say wearing seatbelts, substance abuse, cruelty, etc.
