I understand what you are saying about getting to know the ref and building a mutual respect. But I can tell you that some refs get very defensive when asked their name. I had a very bad experience with a young ref at the Mulvane. We had a conversation about a call.
I called him to the table and said:

"Sir, can I ask you in your opinion what made that move potentially dangerous. The reason I ask is cause you were in a better position then I and I want to be able to explain it to my wrestler so it does not happen again."

His reply: "COACH, if you are questioning my judgement then I would suggest you walk your happy self right back over to your corner and stop wasting my time!"

"I am not questioning your judgement and I am not argueing the call. I am asking what made that move dangerous."

"He had the arm in an unsafe position."

"Really?"

"Really!"

"OK!" Said sarcasticly

"Coach! Get back in your corner and shut the hell up before you piss me off and you end up looking like an ass!"

"REALLY?"

"Really!"

After the match everyone shook hands and I walked out to the ref and very calmly said. "I notice you dont have a number on your shirt, can I get your name?"

"Why?"

"Cause I think you were totally out of line with your attitude and profanity and I want to make sure that my club never uses you at one of our tournaments!"

"Thats it coach! Thats your warning! One more word and you are gone!"

I smiled, turned and walked away! I have his name and my only action againest this guy is that we will NEVER us him and he was not on our list of refs submitted for state.
Yet Im the bad guy and I had to be treated that way in front of my wrestlers and parents.

I know this is only one example of so very many but long story short...
Please put names or numbers back on the shirts cause that is one of the only courses of action that we have as coaches to let some of these guys know that they can not treat people like this and they should be held accountable!

Lance Tracy