Chief, leave my 401K alone! You switched all my stocks to "aggressive" and I wanted them in "low risk."

How in the heck did you figure out my password and birthday and my mother's maiden name???

You are pretty darn good and I don't know how you did it, but if you do it again I'm gonna scalp you and hang you from the totem pole and burn your tee-pee!

Sincerely,

Smoke-Free Cabin