Sportsmanship is defined as:

1) Playing fair
2) Following the rules of the game
3) Respecting the judgment of referees and officials
4) Treating opponents with respect

My son has been wrestling for 4 years and has grown to love the sport. He has improved each year and become very competitive within his age and weight class. Win or lose, I am most proud of the way he handles himself both on and off the mat.

My responsibility as a parent is to teach my son good sportsmanship. Kids learn the basics of sportsmanship from the adults in their lives, especially their parents and their coaches. Kids who see adults behaving in a sportsmanlike way gradually come to understand that the real winners in sports are those who never give up and behave with dignity - whether they win or lose a game or match.

I'm concerned about the loss of sportsmanship in youth sports today. My son wrestled the Derby Tournament yesterday and wrestled his little butt off. He had 5 matches that culminated in a big match against a highly accomplished wrestling champion whom my son greatly respected and admired. My son wrestled him tough and never gave up. Despite the other wrestler leading the entire match, he became very frustrated and twice dropped aggressive forearms to the back of my son's neck for which a penalty point was given. In the final period, the other wrestler had top position with his hand/arm trapped and again became so frustrated, despite winning the match, he pulled his leg back and kneed my son in his butt/groin area. The referee immediately disqualified the other wrestler. My son was happy to win the tournament but would have rather wrestled out the match.

My son could have been seriously hurt with the knee to the groin. Thank God he was not. Even more disappointing than the actual match was the way the other wrestler's coach was smiling, laughing and supporting the way his wrestler behaved.

Let's all take a long hard look on what we are teaching our kids. Let's teach them how to work and compete hard in sports and to always handle themselves with integrity. Let's teach them to treat everyone with whom they interact with respect. Win or lose, let's all be good examples for our children and demonstrate good sportsmanship.

Let's treat our opponents fairly, follow the rules of the game, respect the judgment of referees and officials, and treat opponents with respect.

Jeff West

I completely agree with you. There are some kids being taught to do things that I believe are not appropriate and I would consider not to be wrestling moves. How about grabbing the opponent by the "private parts" to turn them over? It is even done to my son at practice and it is getting ridiculous. You know that an adult is telling them to do this.

I also noticed some unsportsman like conduct from parents yesterday. There was a mother from Augusta that was yelling and screaming after a match and was also extremely rude to her very young son when he lost or didn't perform up to her standards.

I am with you guys on this.A lot of coaches teach there kids to hit the back of the neck head with there forearm.Not sure what move this is or how it helps role the kid overe and pin him.
I have also seen coaches tell there kids to head but,smack and chin to the back of the neck.
My son had one kid[TOLD TO BY A COACH] grab and crush his private parts.This was A very close match in over time.Sad the coach just walked away and did not even shake my sons hand after the match.It is just sad what a coach will do to win.
I hope the reffs see more of it and do the same they did in your sons match Wildwest.

Mr. West we have spoke before at tournaments and my son has wrestled your son before and has much respect for your son ( he say's he is scrappy wrestler)and enjoyed wrestling him. I totally agree with your comments about sportsmanship and we have already had the exact same match your son had this year with that wrestler and my son lead the entire match and the wrestler pulled the same stuff. I feel if you can't beat some one straight up why resort to those kind of tatic's. It is a embarresment to the sport, club and parents. At this point we teach our kids not to get drawn in, evidently wrestler's who go to those measure's are desperate for a win. We want to win, but not like that. Win with dignity and lose with dignity. Look forwared to seeing you and your son at JOC. Merry Christmas to your family and the whole wrestling community. Sorry your son had to deal with that kind of behavior.

I was coaching the match the augusta mom got mad .the call was obviously a bad call do to me arguing with the ref several matches before. the ref called a pin with the other kids arms under the shoulders and it was so noticeable several coaches told the head ref about the incident that the head ref asked the ref to leave the tourney. I have never saw a ref make a call on a six year old to prove a point to a coach. i know the most of the coaches and more than likely the would of blew up in this case. But on a lighter note i did see several coaches from other teams help lift up other teams kids after that.

She was never rude to her son she was mad about a call that lead to a ref getting kick out do to poor sportmanship. Know the whole story

Wow, I don't understand how or why people have to be rude on here. I was just stating what I saw and I know my whole story. She was screaming at the ref from the stands and I don't care what the excuse is. There were a lot of people there watching, especially children, and there is never a reason for that. When she was treating her some bad was at other times during the day. So I do know my story. There was a lot of bad officiating Saturday, but no excuse to throw a tantrum!

Jerry, am I wrong or mis understanding a REF was kicked out?

And its hard to get the whole story from what you see? I had a women charge me last year at a tournament.When she was sure I was chewing my sons butt. And she was right however I was chewing his butt for losing poorly. In a side note never grab a man chewing his kids butt you will the opposite reaction you'll like. She had a point but not the whole story. Just a miss understanding and she feelt she saw everthing just missed some facts.

Jon, you are right the ref was asked to leave. He had several incidents. The reason I reacted like I did was because you mentioned a club name and we work hard to do the best we can for our club. I just feel if you have a problem with a club you should approach them in person not try to run them down in a talk forum. You never know if a new club member is looking and gets a wrong impression. I too have had problems with sportsmanship but never mentioned a club name. I am sorry it all happened just hope you show respect and handle things in private. thank you

Not quite sure how I am not showing disrespect. I know what I heard and saw throughout the day and I wasn't alone. I didn't say anything nasty about anyone just posting an opinion and comments as all the others on here. Don't worry I am done with this conversation.

It is probably best to let this subject go away. This season has just begun and there is a lot more wrestling to do. If there are parents that are not doing the right thing, then they need to figure it out before they are left out. This is a great sport, and a sport that is not for everyone, including some wrestlers, parents, coaches and officials. Take a step back and enjoy the sport for what it is, one of the most difficult sports a kid can compete in regardless of their age. They don't need us adults making it more difficult for them.

I have 2 concerns.

1. The official that "chose to retaliate on a 6 y.o.'s match". Was the head ref aware that the official was making some ? calls? Had anyone proctored this ref. before? Rookie ref.? Any opportunity to remediate the official? // Move him/her to a different age group? I realize good ref's are gems! I also realize that a ref has to "start some where"....I would hope this ref. was certified & had a true desire to work with kids -- but the call & then leaving the tournament was really a situational crisis for the officiating team & tournament.

2. The athlete that was DQ'd needs to realize the antics & "crap" he's trying to get away with is unimpressive to the next level of coach's & to everyone dealing with it now. They the College/University coach's want a humble & coachable athlete vs. one they're going to have to "deal with" & in todays time the coach's are also looking @ parents (the complete package).

Unless there is obvious physical abuse, I think all of the do gooders should keep their nose out of other people's business/child rearing.

You are sitting in the stands, while a kid tell his dad or coach to shut up, eat sh*t, go to h*ll, or whatever, so the dad/coach does the correct thing and grabs him by the hair/arm/ear to take the kid to a private place to correct the situation. All you see is someone grabbing a kid by the hair/arm/ear and automatically the adult is in the wrong. Oops, the kid didn't realize that tattling on mama would get him taken away from mama!!

I'm not advocating child abuse, but I AM advocating doing what is necessary for a kid to get the message. Too many kids have been told by the do gooders that mom or dad can't whip them, and before you know it, the kids are in protective custody because of a little swat on the backside.

Not minimizing what some kids probably go thru that should be stopped, but the majority of this "abuse" that the do gooders are getting their panties in a bunch over is overblown.

Bravo! Excellent points "doug747"! Agreed wholeheartedly!

These "Self-Esteem" obsessed simpletons should wander over to namby-pamby land and try to get some self-confidence!

I would also add that SOME kids (heck people for that matter) only respond to an adult they respect getting up in their face and calling them out (If they were/are slacking)! Others only require a raised eyebrow (not the people's eyebrow btw).

Niether child was unsportsmanlike in the incident no wrestler was dq'd.
The ref had made numerous amount of bad calls and when he called a horrific pin call, he looked straight at me and smirked. I brought it to the head refs attention. Later on the head ref came and told me he sent him home. Other coaches had been saying similar comments,so i dont know what all led to his dismissal.Shortly after the head ref told me I went to the bleachers and the ref came and sat right in front of me and changed into his street clothes while glaring at me and the mom that was upset. I hope this is all over and the ref and us can learn from it.

I would like everyone to know that both boys, and the other coach, that we were wrestling against each other were very good sportsman.In this case it was the adults. And everything has been resolved.