Dearest Forum Friends:
A lot has happened in the Life of Prant and the world of Kansas wrestling since I last posted on this board. Despite my absence, know that think fondly of my old buds on this board, and that I wear proudly on my breast my monster truck tattoo.
As the wrestling community prepares for their respective annual Battles Royale, I wanted to take a moment to come out of Forum retirement and reiterate that my unfailing allegiance to those grapplers from Hat Town still stands.
However--for this weekend, and for all foreseeable clashes between the powers of state wrestling, a new program will also be receiving Full Prant Support and all the benefits that come with it: Those Washburn Rural High School Junior Blues.
Why should I support these (future) Titans of the Mat--especially when I was a lifetime 0-2 against them? For many reasons:
1) The Creepy TopHat Guy they have on their shirts/singlets/mat looks eerily like the villain from the Disney movie "Princess and the Frog." (How do I know this? Well, because there are Little Prants and Prantinas running around these days.) Despite this, the wrestlers seem to be SUPER into the logo, which can only indicate their steadfastness in the face of criticism. Kudos on the maturity, guys.
2) Their mat room doubles as a bomb/tornado shelter, meaning there is absolutely no cell phone reception. TOTAL FOCUS. If there's ever an apocalypse, not only will these Li'l Ichabods be totally safe, they will emerge from years of nuclear winter as the most finely-tuned wrestlers the world (old or new) has ever known.
3) WRHS--abbreviation for both "Washburn Rural" and "War Horses."
4) Their singlets are 10000000000 times better than the Junction City Pinstripe Ed Hardy singlets. (Note: Hat Town, your new 'glets are totally legit.) Come on, Junk Town.
5) I have seen one of their coaches eat 50 chicken nuggets in one sitting. True story.
As you can see, due to the five reasons listed above (and many others), the Li'l 'Bods are poised for greatness. Get in on the ground floor now, friends, because this rocketship is going to take off soon.
Go Hat. Go Li'l 'Bods. Go Kansas wrestling.
With love,
Prant Garker
Hat Town Alumni
Lead Driver of WRHS Bandwagon
