You need to consider the possibility that you don't represent the average parent in your views on child rearing. All I have to do to doubt that is to visit any youth sports event or read the newspaper to see that not everyone is raising their children to your standards. Sadly, more and more the government or in this case KSHSAA is put in a position of having to be a buffer between parents and what is best for their children.
All I know is this, the coaches I know and respect all want their wrestlers wrestling middle school. And, I have never heard a coach say "boy I wish that kid was getting outside instruction or competition". Frankly, if a coach is running his room correctly, I doubt any kid would have the energy for outside instruction or competition. That's not to say some parents wouldn't require it though.