The real reason I have it out for people of Abilene is jealousy! You heard me right...I'm jealous and the main reasons:

You guys have McDonalds, Burger King, Subway, that good Mexican buffet, the good Chinese buffet, a bowling alley, a real grocery store, a trolley bus (badass), Eisenhour's corpse, and the Telephone museum just to name a few.

What does Chapman have:

4 bars for a community of 1200 or so (guess we really are Irish), 1 family style diner, a grocery store that resembles a storage unit, we do have a Casey's so we match you there (ha)...we have the Kansas Racing Museum (wonder if that's why all these mullets are springing up in Chapman) and you can't forget we have Golf Course defectors coming over from Abilene, because they can't store their carts or something over at the Country Club (yea for Golf defectors and non golf cart storage Country clubs)