First of all, congrats to Hoxie for DOMINATING the Beloit tourney. My cousin Humphrey (he lives in Glade) told me all about it over the phone. I was sorry I didn't get to make it up for the meet, but I was watching my Jags dominate the "Tournament of Scallions" in nearby Mars, OK. It was absolutely breathtaking. GO JAGS!
Anyway, back to the task at hand. I fully respect Hoxie and all their exceptionally talented wrestlers, but I honestly think we could take them in a dual. From what I've heard, it would be close, but let me show you how I think it would go:
------
------
103- FARBER (Hx) could take JENKINS (JC).
Jenkins is good, but streaky. Right now, he's in a helluva slump. If you can believe this, last year he won his last nineteen matches, but this year year could only muster up a 2-20 record. Unbelievable, eh? He's definitely our one weak spot.
112- RANDOLPH (JC) would pin SCHAMBERGER in the first period. Easy.
119- DICKENS (JC) would beat BAKER, I'm guessing tech-fall. Dickens is unstoppable, especially on the wrestling mat.
125- SPILLMAN (HX) would probably beat MILTON WADAMS (he's a little squirrely)
130- BOLTON (JC) would pin GILLILAND (HX) in the second period.
135- JOE HOLLYWOOD (JC) would probably be able to take SCHIPPERS (HX). I don't know too much about this schippers kid, but I think HOLLYWOOD is unstoppable.
140- This SCHIPPERS (HX) would be able to take Bollywood.
145- HAMBURGER (JC) beats SCHAMBURGER in a battle of the burgers.
152- I don't know Hoxie's 152, but I'm seeing that he didn't even place at Beloit, so I'm just going to give this one to Jellybean City's CHRISTOPAL YANNIBERG.
160- CAMPBELL (JC) would beat CAMBELL (HX) That's two weight classes in a row with guys who have evenly-matched names.
171- SCHIPLEY (HX) can definitely take DON FLEMENCO (JC)
189- BORIS VonYANNIBERG (distant cousin of Cristopal Yanniberg) would pin COOPER in OT.
215- This one would be a doozey. I think in the end Jellybean City's Roger Doozey would pull it out. In the end, Doozey get the pin eight seconds into the match.
275- The big uglies go at it! Again, I don't know Hoxie's 275, because he apparently didn't place. And since Jellybean City's PYTHAGORUS FIBBONACE will win his seventh consecutive state title this year, I think Hoxie's 275 would be no match.
Well, there you have it. My rundown. The Jags beat the Indians in a barn-burner!
Jellybean City 35 (Oklahoma rules)
Hoxie, KS. 27
Disagree with me if you will, but if any of you doubt it, I invite you all to come watch us dominate the the Jingleheimer Junction meet in Enid this next weekend.
Discuss.
