While I had nothing to do with his wrestling ability, I'd like to think I'm like his Grandfather Funnyman. He studied under the great Jhris Cennings, who obviously traces his hilarity back to one Prant Garker (where all things witty began). Does this make me the Splinter to his Leonardo? The Mick to his Rocky?

Also, Hrett the Champion (which is what your teachers and friends undoubtedly now call you), are you the owner of the illustrious Orange Shorts, bestowed upon Derek Bunker by Richard Gardner? Also, how is the infamous Christmas Tree doing? With Bubba retiring, who will be its new keeper?

Please keep us has-beens in the loop, your Champion-ness.