[quote=palerider]dwelsh, Thats good advise "don't let a jerk ruin your day". As a parent and grandparent, I wish my kids would have had a teacher like you. But I would like to know what advise do you offer the kid thats the "jerk"?

***Good point. However, note above, i say 'acting like a jerk' that is a BIG difference from slapping a label on a kid and calling them a 'jerk' (one post i didn't type carefully enough, i corrected that in another post - i added clarity to the concept). Here is what I say to the so-called jerk:

"What did you do wrong? Why did you do it? Would you like others to treat you that way? Did it (acting like a jerk) get you what you want? What are you going to do differently? What you like some strategies for dealing more productively with your anger?"

I think your advise could be a little more productive by helping them to respect their fellow students.

*****Agreed. I encourage all to respect each other. That doesn't change that fact that sometimes we act like jerks. I have told kids/classes 'sometimes Mr. Welsh acts like a jerk.' When i realize that has been the case, i quickly try to right the wrong that i did." (IE. apologize, ask for forgiveness, self-reflect on why i said/did what i did, try to learn from the mistake and do better next time).

Its being human (making mistakes or, acting liking a jerk) and honest with yourself and big enough to say, 'man, that was dumb what i did. I'm sorry.' Many try to blame their incorrect behavior on others. I encourage kids to own up to their own mistakes. I discourage them from blaming a poor choice that they make, on someone else. (IE. "I hit him because he was making fun of me.")

as a high school athlete... yes at my school teachers are just eyeballing me. I have had teacher blackmail me for years "ill tell coach if you talk in my class." man it sucks.

in my school teachers aim to get athletes in trouble. one of my friends was getting detintions daily from this one teacher during football season. and ever since the season has ended, he hasnt had one. its like the teachers are out to get us. I know it may sound like im parniod, but im not. I aso know that i'm going to be on my best behavior during season, because only god know what my coach would do if i where suspended. so teachers cant say that athletes act up because they know that their coaches will back them.

Sorry if this offends any teachers... but you guys need to be worried about the emo kids. they are always yelling, starting fights, and cutting their wrists. why do the kids who have lives have to be punished for making life fun. teachers need to change their point of views on the situation, and start to pick on the losers. athletes have enough pressure to deal with. I dont need a teacher yelling at me, while 5 other non-athlete kids are doing the same thing. yell at those kids too. and no i'm not a bad student, i just always get screwed.

Perseverance is a virtue I pull out of my parents' bag of tricks when needed. When everything seems to go wrong, especially with a teenager, I find it helpful to remind myself not to panic. It usually could be worse. If I don't over-react, balance is often restored and things work out. This year, our son had 2 problems at school in the same week that made me want to race to his rescue and fix it. We talked at home about his options and he successfully handled both issues with the school on his own.

Another thing that helps is a teenager's good name. By this I mean, how is he perceived in the long term by fellow students, faculty and coaches? If he hits a rough patch or false accusations, his past good actions may well pull him through. We also stress that in difficult times it is even more important to be above reproach. It is good to understand why another student might be jealous or resentful and that is a good reason to avoid giving them the slightest opportunity to make anything other than false claims.

Wow! Did you make this post just to get a rise out of the adults? I am not a teacher, but I do think you need an attitude adjustment. Whats with calling non-athletes losers? Why single out and label EMO kids? I don't think you even know what EMO is or you would not make these outlandish statements. Maybe you are the one who needs to get a life. If you played me, thats ok.

6'3, 240 pounds, on the varsity wrestling team, and he's the victim? My son was a very good athlete, wrestled varsity as a freshman, I'm sure he had friends and enemies at school and had all sorts of issues arise. I always sided with the administration, coaches, teachers, etc. when he got in trouble. Didn't matter what "excuse" he came up with or what the other kid did...he couldn't count on daddy bailing him out. So he got along. He was also taught from the time he was 2 that he couldn't fight...he could not strike another person for any reason (that didn't mean he couldn't wrestle them). So he always had to use his brain and not his fists to get out of a jam.

I came from a small town. Parents didn't intercede at every perceived slight from teachers, coaches, and any others. They let those "in charge" be in charge. Big city stuff is different. Lots of folks seem to think they are somehow in charge when all they are is a parent. Leave you kids alone. They will turn out a lot better off and will be able to work through things as adults without if you force them to do it now.

Somebody help me please, what is an emo kid? Thanks.

Gator, i'm not offended by what you wrote. However, if i were your parent and/or teacher - I'd be concerned about your victim mentality (IE. "I just always get screwed...") We tend to get what we think. Kind of a self fulfilling prophecy kind of thing.


Just food for thought.

There you go with the same attitude the kids have. Just because he is bigger...he is the bad person. Believe me, he is a teenager, so he is not an angle...but it makes me so mad that he gets pre-judged because of his size. Not everyone that is big is a bully. I happen to know many people who are under 5'8" and bullys!!!

Wrestling parents, you need to understand if you post on here, not everyone is going to agree with you. This is quite a different title and subject that you posted and it sounds by your postings that you want everyone to agree with you. If you post on here that the sun is going to rise in the east tomorrow someone will tell you that it won't. I have no idea who you are or your kid as do the rest of the posters on here. So for us to give you insight on this is crazy. If your son isn't a bully then great, support him, but there is always two sides to every story.
Just my 2 cents.
Now everybody lets get back to wrestling.

From Wikipedia - EMO (not to be confused with Goth)

The word has more recently been used to describe a subculture as a slang term, but still describes a music genre as well. The term emo as a music genre has become broader and broader with time, and now is loosely understood to mean "rock music with emotionally-based lyrics or effect." Bands included in the genre range from Bright Eyes to The Get Up Kids to Sunny Day Real Estate. The term is so loosely defined because its definition is still the subject of debate.[1][2][4] Emo now often refers to a person's fashion, personality, or both, as well as the music genre.

Interesting. Thank you Lancer. How is the word pronounced? Doesn't much rock music have 'emotionally-based lyrics'? (IE. dudes loving/wanting chicks) The old rock band Journey comes to mind. . . Thanks again. Its always fun to learn new stuff.

well mr. lou, sorry i dont enjoy that music, and i call those kids emo's. I feel if i can be labeled as a jock, whow cares if i call them emo's.... o wait i forget they're little sensitive minds can take criticism. ohhhh my bad. i guess from now on i'll just call them alternative emothional kids, with a bad fashion sense. oh wait i forget that they'll start to cry, and listen to music in the dark, and write peotry, or lyrics to The Get Up Kids.

And sorry dWelsh, i read over my last post and it did sound pretty bad. sorry. i dont get screwed, i just dont get treated like a "EMO"!!!!!!!!

Good parenting and an Irish education don't hurt either!

***HA! Good job acknowledging your laspe in judgement and going into the victim mentality. I'm sure certain 'emo's' feel that they don't get 'treated' like the athletes. Why don't we all quit crying 'victim', and try to be kind to all? Even those that are very, very different from us. Like i tell my students, if you can't be kind to them, can you (not Gator in particular, but society at large) at least, just leave them alone? And, vice versa of course. Returning evil for evil will always catch up with you in the end. Better to 'kill' your enemies with kindness.

I confuse Emo with Goth with Skater......they are all a little strange Emo, I think, are the kids that are cutters. If you see a guy and a girl together, they seem to almost have that unisex thing going. They will look sad, they are probably prone to have a higher rate of suicide. Goth...well.....I think that they are the people that wear black or a lot of dark cloting, and are usually what you think of when you hear of a kid walking into a school shooting. Skaters...well.....dude!

I'm old school. What do I know?

Shelstin, Not quite educational enough for an oldtimer like myself. I know what goth is. But Emo are kids that are cutters? Do you mean they cut class or each other or what? And skaters, ...I'm wondering if you mean in-line or 4 wheels.

I don't think I've seen any of these kids at a wrestling tournament. Or maybe I have and don't know it. Oh well, I guess I lead a sheltered life.

Cutters are people who cut themselves to ease their pain......figure that one out!

OK, Thanks, I've heard of that. But NO, I can't figure it out.

Who cares if they complain, unless the kid is actually doin' something then who gives a crap. Ignore all the BS.

The problem is that sometimes, they don't stop at just complaining.

mom4 / wrestlingparents I was not singling your kids out to be bad. Just stating that when a parent make suggestions why when "Little Johnny" gets his feelings hurt, that its unfair, and how others will react when fingers are pointed. I believe the one kid we are talking about is ranked #1 in 6A and if so, I of all people applaude him for his great efforts, and anyone who does't is just plan childish. My son also as a freshman wrestled varsity. Keep in mind that in wrestling one earns his spot no ass kissing, or brown nosing puts you on the A team hard work and dedication earns it.(Unless no one else is there to wrestle off), and most coaches I know put the team on the feild to make themselves look good, and don't care about age or grade. Life will be full of people who think people advance from sucking up. But I don't think its a good idea that when your child gets his feelings hurt, that mommy tries to take on the world. And allot of it has to do with the way your child carries himself also, but if kids say things, and they seeing its having a effect and bothers your son, it will only get worse. But keep in mind also none of us as parents see everything our kids are doing when out of our sight.