We've seen many posts on this board about unsportsmanlike behavior from coaches, wrestlers, and even officials now. But we really haven't given credit to the people who deserve to be recognized for not following these trends.

I have to say I saw something this weekend that mad me realize how great our sport can be. I was officiating on mat 14 at the District 1 tournament in Baldwin. There was one kid from the Jr. Vikings and Matt Vander Linden from Burlington. Vander Linden ended up pinning his opponent and before I could even get up off the mat Matt's father Doug was instructing his son to offer his hand to help his opponent up, he did so and the two wrestlers met back in the center for post match procedure. As the shook hands I took notice of the extreme sincere nature of the handshake. It was unlike so many of the limp wristed producural handshakes I've had to be a part of over these years. This whole situation made me do a double take, when I realized this was the first truely sportmanlike match I had witnessed all year long, from the coaches, the competitors, and even the spectators. It made me wish that all matches could be like this. And indeed as I watched all the other competitors from Burlington compete they all exhibited the same attitude, and NONE of them threw a fit after losing.

So to that I say the Burlington wrestling team, and coach Vander Linden you truly are class acts and a model from which other clubs should take note. And on that note I wonder if anyone else has seen anything like this this year that has stood out in their minds?

Nigle you need to get out more... There is still allot of good people involved in the sport across this state, unfortunately we just hear about the bad. We are just a microcosm of society as a whole. Turn on the news at night, how often do we hear about the good things that people do?

Its pretty sad when their are 26 posts on the thread talking about bad sports and only 2 on good sports. My son lost out at Districts again. 12 and Under he was crushed. He was so close but in the end got beat by a better wrestler. He has never made it to state. He shed a few tears coming off the mat but afterwards he saw the boy he just wrestled and he gave the victor a high five and honestly wished him good luck at state. The next match had the wrestler he had beat at subs and he stuck around to cheer him on. He was a really good wrestler but unfortunately lost by a minor mistake. He was going home also. My son went over and consoled him told him they were both going to make it to state next year and hung around to talk a few minutes. I was pretty proud of him for not dweling on the loss. I have watched him spend time with novice wrestlers when our so called good wrestlers (and great sportsmans) don't even give them the time of day. But what happened Sunday floored me and had me looking at my son with new respect. We go to a very large church and usually he goes to the junior high youth group instead he said he wanted to go to the regular services. When they asked for those that wished to come forward he just got up and headed down to the front without hesitation. At 12 years old he stood in front of 2000+ people and relayed Tyler Graebners story and asked for prayers for Tylers family. This is the same kid that some from our club dislike because they think he is a rough wrestler, this is the same boy that has some real issues and problems He practices and wrestles hard yet I have only seen him lose his temper twice in 3 years on the wrestling mat during a tournament. Some may not think so but I believe he is a true sportsman and although has tons of hurtles to overcome will always be compasionate and caring win or lose.

I'd just like to say to those parents who think their kids are perfect and condemn others kids who aren't as perfect... Its easy to be a good sport when your always a winner... the true test of who a young person is, is how they act when they lose more than they win.

STR8 4WARD,

Compliments go out to your son for being a great sport. However, I do believe there are many more good sports vs. the bad sports in the sport of wrestling. We remember the bad sports more vividly than we do the good sports. In our 4 years of being in this sport, we have seen our share of throwing of head-gear, screaming at their coach, refusing to shake their opponent’s hand, but we have seen many more wrestlers get up, shake hands and be a great sport. On other times, I have seen wrestlers give a quick hug when passing each other after shaking the coach’s hand. However, those are times we have to think about, we remember the bad times allot easier.

Good luck to all this weekend and be careful traveling.

STR8 4WORD, your son sounds like a great kid and a real class act. But I don't really agree with the statement you made about good wrestlers not giving novice wrestlers the time of day. That may be the case in your club, but in just about every other club in the state the good wrestlers are more than happy to help younger kids out.

I have to say that Coach Vanderlinden has also stood out in my mind as showing great sportsmanship. We have had 3 or 4 head to head rivalries with Burlington and it was very obvious that he showed class regardless of the result. I've seen this from many teams in Kansas, but saw Nigel's post and wanted to add that Doug's concern for the kids does not go unnoticed.

I actually find the kids that misbehave (Headgear throwing, stomping and won't shake) kind of entertaining. When a kid is throwing a big league fit he or she has everyones attention, yours and mine. The best match in the state could be taking place in the same gym but it is hard not to watch the rebel act out.

Life would be boring without the extraordinary people to distract us from are own problems.

STR8 4WORD ,

SOME of the WORST sports are the kids you called perfect that win nearly all the time. Not always but Boy if your around when the right one loses it is a show. Most if not all kids have a touch the so called bad sport hiding in them somewhere.

The best outburst I seen this year was from a State Champion oh yeah he won Nationals also.

I agree that there are more good sports than bad sports especially in wrestling. I enjoy wrestling because its what my son wants to do but I am not a die hard wrestling parent. However, got to say I have met more young people both in our club and in other clubs that are really fantastic kids. I don't know if its because we see them for longer periods of time then you do in other sports but I think wrestlers have a lot of class.

Almost forgot...

Curtis

Probably shouldn't have made the generalization about wrestlers not giving the novice kids the time of day. As with all things some do and some don't.

Still say overall I see more good sports than bad, my point is we should speak up when we see a good sport let them know it is noticed instead of always talking about the bad...

I know what your main point was. It just hurt a little bit when you made that statement because I help our kids program out a lot. As well as the high schoolers.

In district 3 at McPherson, I was very proud of all of the young men that were in my son's bracket. They were all very nice and gave compliments to each other-win or lose.
We have met several young wrestlers and their parents through tournaments. I too have seen more good sports than bad. The bad sports remain vivid but so does the friendships that we have made over the years.

My son was in the 8&U district tourn in Baldwin this weekend. Last year he made it to state & he really wanted to go back this year. He has had very good luck with wrestling & this year was his toughest so far. He has been a poor sport in the past because he just wasn't used to losing & I think it is really hard for the younger ones to accept sometimes. In his last match he had to win to get to 3rd & 4th & he got pinned. Because we have told him several times a true champion leaves the mat the same way he came on, with his head held high. I think what he did next was very special. He got pinned & instead of crying like in the past he got up, looked over at his dad & coach, smiled & gave a thumbs up sign. He then went to the center shook hands with his opponet, the ref, & the other coaches. He knew his year was over so there were tears in his eyes but he did not throw a fit or disrespect the kid who beat him. In this sport I think you are always learning & I think us as parents need to remember that & just keep encouraging the kids to hold their heads up & be a winner no matter what. We as adults also need to be a good example for our children & not get so upset when they lose.Congrats to all the kids who moved on this year & good luck at state.

I can honestley tell you Chenoweth does help with the youth as much as possible. He really loves working with them. Not just because one of them is his brother but because wrestling is a sport he loves. I can also tell you you will never see him show poor sportmanship on or off the mat. They learn from the experience and go on. What else can you do? If anybody saw Chenoweth at High School state in his finals match you will know what I'm talking about. Hold your head high no matter what!

I agree 100% w/me&my4sons we as parents and even coaches need to set examples for the athletes to follow.

I am so very proud of both my boys for their accomplishments and the way the act on and off the mat. I try to tell them every chance I get.

I love to see a child win or lose, take his/her strap off their leg and place it back at their feet, hold their head up and shake the opponents hand and then the ref's and then go over to the opposing coach/coaches and shake their hands and walk off with pride knowing they did their best. There are far more of these tyes of wrestlers than the poor sports. We as coaches, refs and parents must do more to help this continue to be the norm.

Also, I think this is an appropriate place to say I don't think anyone has done more for the wrestling community and their families this year than Mr. Michael Furches. He is truly the "Minister of Wrestling" Great job Mr. Furches. I have profound respect for you.

$partacus

I am not saying that the way some kids act is appropriate, but I think that people need to consider the feelings of these kids.

Wrestling is an individual sport. A wrestler cannot blame anyone else and no one else can take their fame. I have never wrestled, but I watch the time and effort that my son puts into it. During wrestling season he has no life, he watches what eats, he comes home sore, has bruises, and his body gets twisted in directions you wouldn't think was possible. I think he has the right to cry and be upset when he looses. I also, think that he has the right to celebrate when he wins. He is the one that is making all the sacrifices and doing all the work.

Coaches and officials more than likely wrestled when they were younger. My question is to those that always see the negative behaviors from these wrestlers is how did you handle a loss when you were younger?

I always tell my son about losing..."you don't have to like it, but you have to deal with it. That's how you get better". He doesn't lose alot but he does get beat. And when it happens he is pretty mad. He gets up, shakes hands, gets off the mat and THEN he will start to show a tear or two.

You want kids to have passion and emotion in wrestling. I believe it is what sets the great ones apart. We cannot expect these kids to show no emotion when many of them like HoseyCrew said have put their entire lives into it for several months and years. If we want that peak emotion and refuse to lose passion on the mat. It's pretty unrealistic to think as soon as it's over they will be able to turn it off. Rather than show no emotion I suggest we help them channel that into focus on getting better.

If they are respectful that is all I ask.

SlamBam

I believe there is a big difference between becoming emotional and throwing fits. One of the kids mentioned above has competed against my son I can tell you he is a competitor not a fit thrower. In the wins against my child he would handle himslef with class and during the losses he would shead a tear but later find my son and congratulate and wish him luck in the opcoming match. It's ashame we hear more about the fit throwers than the kids who handle themselves with class. With State this weekend I encourage everyone to watch for the positive things and report on them instead of posting all the negativity.

Much said about sportsmanship. I agree with those who remind us that the younger kids especially must learn to deal with losing as well as winning. How they display their "dealing with it" takes time to develop an acceptable attitude and some maturity. Most are extremely committed and wrestling becomes an intensely emotional experience for them. But, there is a major difference between the tantrum throwers and the ones who express disappointment at losing. I guess when it comes down to it, most of the posts on this topic have a lot of truth and wisdom to them. We just have to keep teaching the kids what it's all about. Most will learn & express themselves correctly.