First of all, congrats to Hoxie for DOMINATING the Beloit tourney. My cousin Humphrey (he lives in Glade) told me all about it over the phone. I was sorry I didn't get to make it up for the meet, but I was watching my Jags dominate the "Tournament of Scallions" in nearby Mars, OK. It was absolutely breathtaking. GO JAGS!

Anyway, back to the task at hand. I fully respect Hoxie and all their exceptionally talented wrestlers, but I honestly think we could take them in a dual. From what I've heard, it would be close, but let me show you how I think it would go:
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103- FARBER (Hx) could take JENKINS (JC).

Jenkins is good, but streaky. Right now, he's in a helluva slump. If you can believe this, last year he won his last nineteen matches, but this year year could only muster up a 2-20 record. Unbelievable, eh? He's definitely our one weak spot.

112- RANDOLPH (JC) would pin SCHAMBERGER in the first period. Easy.

119- DICKENS (JC) would beat BAKER, I'm guessing tech-fall. Dickens is unstoppable, especially on the wrestling mat.

125- SPILLMAN (HX) would probably beat MILTON WADAMS (he's a little squirrely)

130- BOLTON (JC) would pin GILLILAND (HX) in the second period.

135- JOE HOLLYWOOD (JC) would probably be able to take SCHIPPERS (HX). I don't know too much about this schippers kid, but I think HOLLYWOOD is unstoppable.

140- This SCHIPPERS (HX) would be able to take Bollywood.

145- HAMBURGER (JC) beats SCHAMBURGER in a battle of the burgers.

152- I don't know Hoxie's 152, but I'm seeing that he didn't even place at Beloit, so I'm just going to give this one to Jellybean City's CHRISTOPAL YANNIBERG.

160- CAMPBELL (JC) would beat CAMBELL (HX) That's two weight classes in a row with guys who have evenly-matched names.

171- SCHIPLEY (HX) can definitely take DON FLEMENCO (JC)

189- BORIS VonYANNIBERG (distant cousin of Cristopal Yanniberg) would pin COOPER in OT.

215- This one would be a doozey. I think in the end Jellybean City's Roger Doozey would pull it out. In the end, Doozey get the pin eight seconds into the match.

275- The big uglies go at it! Again, I don't know Hoxie's 275, because he apparently didn't place. And since Jellybean City's PYTHAGORUS FIBBONACE will win his seventh consecutive state title this year, I think Hoxie's 275 would be no match.


Well, there you have it. My rundown. The Jags beat the Indians in a barn-burner!

Jellybean City 35 (Oklahoma rules)
Hoxie, KS. 27


Disagree with me if you will, but if any of you doubt it, I invite you all to come watch us dominate the the Jingleheimer Junction meet in Enid this next weekend.

Discuss.

One Question

Would Milton Waddams be wrestling with or without the use of his stapler?

After schippers beats Don Flamenco, will he have to face King Hippo or Mr. Dream?

Also, where is Enid? I want to come to the Jingleheimer Junction Tourney.

Milton wrestles with the swingline. He hates the Boston.

when is the dingleberry dunbar invite, is it still in fuhmunda ok?

yeah how is Freddy Friendship doing down at jingleheimer junction

I hear the Hornytoads from Hooker, OK have a strong wrestling squad this year. And the weird thing is that they are actually horny toads!! Their 275 pounder has trouble making weight. It's pretty crazy seeing a 300 lb. horny toad, let me tell ya.

First of all Hoxie is by far the best team in Kansas!! They have proved it at Beloit and every other teams they have came across. Ask some of the number one ranked teams at 6A,5A,4A and they will tell you Hoxie!! Jarker you need to know that Hoxie is stacked from 103-215. They some how pull it off with only 100 kids in there hole intire school. The school you put them up against probably has 60 kids to make a team or even try out. So if your from Kansas you need to support them for being the best team in the state or stop trying to find a team that can beat them since your team can't.

OnTop 85, I'm not saying Hoxie isn't good. Obviously, they're an amazing team, and definitely the best thing Kansas has to offer. I'm not taking anything away from them, because they're obviously amazing.

HOWEVER, just because they're the best team in Kansas, it doesn't mean they're the best team in the universe. Come to the Jingleheimer Junction in Enid next week and you will see the best team in the universe. GO JAGS!

P.S. You need to learn the difference between "your" and "you're".

Is Jellybean City anywhere near the Vanilla Village? It is small 1a school near Satchmo, OK. Go White Caps!

I have to disagree on this one.... Hoxie has a very solid team until they hit the upper weights.. not saying hoxie cant be beat, anyone can on any given day, but they never loose by falls, they fight for every point. I think it would be closer than you think.

Dude, are you seriously?

Maybe you should take a trip to Jellybean City. It is a wonderful place. There you will find Sasquach, Bigfoot, the Easter Bunny, Willy Wonka, fairies, unicorns, four-leaf clovers, flying pigs, sea monkeys, leprechauns (sp?), Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and a humor-filled forum where everyone can post without fear of editing and persecution. And they could totally kill Hoxie.


Tard.

I think Super_Duper_Mystery_Man should be booted for being stupid.

I think you should be booted for not being cool enough for that sweet banana avatar.

Big Kneepads eats it.
Big Kneepads #2 is totally sweet.

Sorry to re-hash the past, but I just had to bump this one. Great stuff.

Totally.

I think after seeing Hoxie this year, and seeing JC at the Jingleheimer Junction, JC would probably win every match. They good. They very good. They very very good.

My cousin Walter (from Hooker, OK) told me yesterday that their 130 is going to wrestle at Harvard next year, and that's the best in the country.

Gilland and both Schippers would easily kill those kids. Gilland is a 4x state high school champion, and i dunno how many times in kids. both Schippers have won atleast 1 high school state title and multiple kids state titles