My family is heading to Roswell New Mexico next week for our annual UFO festival trek. Randy Hinderliter has passed word that Waunita is en route as well, hitching rides from unsuspecting truckers and leaving them in her path no doubt.

Our goal is simple, obtain a photograph of the elusive Wanton Waunita and post it here on the forum. Our bait, a signed picture of Aaron Sweazy and the sweat stained ball cap worn by Roscoe himself. We aim to blend in to the crowd with our TOHK animal hats and snap a picture of her, hopefully without donating any of our DNA for her quest for procreation. It is a dangerous job but we are up to it. It was chase Bigfoot or Waunita, and we chose the hairier of the two prospects.

to be continued next week.....

Klint Deere and crew

... but be careful! If you remember the history of Waunita, she is a gypsy by birth!

A few years ago, Jack Bauer himself, tried to capture the elusive one!! With all the resources of CTU, they could not confirm her existence.

As for the hairer part ... rumor has it that she has invested all of her earnings (from tattooing) in industrial strength Nair.

The latest from Robgo is ... she is stunning! He describes her as 4'7", 240-pounds, almond colored skin, wearing a thong and stiletto heels! Robgo defines her as a BMW (Big or Beautiful (depending on your taste) Mexican Woman) and continues describing her as "EZ" on the eyes!

Whether Robgo is describing Waunita or Yolanda is a mystery!!

Klint, New Information!!!! Coach Rojo is apparently following Waunita. He is into his VISA for about $1,500.00 paying for information from the "unsuspecting truckers" that have a strange smile on their faces!!

We are resting up this week and have recieved advise and tips from bounty hunter Dog and his doubly blessed wife Beth.

the trek begins tuesday a.m. as we pull out of Topeka in the 15 passenger Econoline. Our route includes a stop at the Big Texan Steakhouse, home of the free 72 oz steak. No doubt it is on the agenda of Waunita.

wwww.bigtexan.com

check out the live webcam there for possible glimpses of our photo prey

... doubly blessed indeed!

I always said that wasn't a steak but a roast. As to Waunita, I will be able to take the trip a little further west as I will be in Wine country and then some out in California from Bakersfield to San Fran. I will be on the lookout while there. I have a little bit of a lay over in Denver on Saturday and more of one on the return on the 11th. If Dog and Beth are in their Denver offices I will check in with them and in the meantime be on the lookout for Waunita. If there are any distinguishing signs I need to be looking for, let me know.

Inflate to ??? PSI close to the pop out valve stem?

I'm sorry ... but, LOL!

Remember, Waunita or Yolanda, is reportedly 4'7" and weighs in (am weight) at 240#'s.

I'm not sure whether Richard is talking of inflating the cousins or Beth but in my opinion, they are already plump!!

... also the BMW cousins in the Land of Vino, is a real touchy situation. I recall an incident with the cousins and a card board flask of MD 20/20.

But that is another story!!

I am all too familiar with Beth as I tivo Dog each Monday Night. Last nights was a classic by the way. How that family finds those types of situations is incredible. I just didn't know so much about Waunita.

The incident with the MD 20/20 is what had me wondering if Waunita may be in wine country or not. Normally though that type of activity leads to less worse taste as opposed to better. We will see though, you never know.

... yes MD 20/20 is their latest craze! In the past they were fond of Boones Farm and even Ripple. They are quite worldly in their tastes. (thus their fondness for Robgo and Rojo!)

I really enjoy most of the AETV networking! I am recording all the episodes of 24! That is my latest addiction!!

And a wonderful addicition it is. I have to catch up on season 2 and 3, but have seen the first and last. If Jack Bauer was on this case we would have it solved in 24 hours or less. Guaranteed!

Breaking news.....
Search to begin earlier than anticipated

The Deere Crew will be starting the hunt on Sunday, a verified sighting has taken place just outside of Garden City near the Tyson Plant. A crazed trucker with hickeys spelling out Waunita on his chest was found wandering in the middle of the night. His 18 wheeler is missing and someone with the handle of Senorita Gordita is soliciting via the semi's CB radio.

Perhaps she has been in close contact with Swayz, as he has been silent for quite some time now...

I supose, Dog, Beth, and the rest of the crew are looking for the two of them.

lol ... she is quite the vixen!

That poor trucker, wondering while he was wandering. Had to be kind of like one of my favorite movies, Kingpin! That guy finding evidence on his chest had to be like the big Amish guy discovering his tattoo!!

News Bulletin:

AOL news reported today of recent sightings in the Northern Michigan Pennisula. Bigfoot/Waunita researchers are en route there.

We will have the southwest covered starting Sunday.
Furches has the West Coast and Dog & Beth in the Rocky Mountain areas. Leland was on the phone today from Hawaii confirming their interest. Some talk of staging a Beth and Waunita in a MMA (Massive Mammary Assault) cage match on pay per view with the money going for Dog's legal defense fund and Waunita's lazer hair removal bills.

Coach Rojo has been mentioned as a possible referee, but we all know where his allegiance is. Those two in a cage would definitely give new definition to "caged heat."

Can anyone verify Swayz' whereabouts, we are frightened for his safety, he may already be under the spell............

MMA indeed! There are more similarities between Beth and Waunita then I had considered! About the same height, same weight, stiletto heals, same overly inflated endowments!!

I would like to know if Beth has had laser hair removal on her eyebrows!!

I last saw Swayz in Kansas City on Sunday. I gather he was returning home which would place him on I-70 and clearly passing by exit 313.

I just thought of a lead ... check at the formers Stuckeys on I-70 near Abilene. If you recall, Nigel is reported to work there and that is where the lottery ticket I cashed in in Fargo last year was bought from.

I am really concerned about Swayz. In my last conversation with him I recall him saying, "I don't want to be a fudge-packer all of my life!" He really seemed despondent ... losing the forum king to Sir Richard ... the thoughts of being the best fudge-packer in Kansas!

I may dig through the garage attic and find my old CB base station. I had all the goodies ... big lenier and all. I will try to send a bit of skip and contact the truckers for clues on the Senorita Gordita's whereabouts!

I did speak with Senior Swayz yesterday while he was on his way to the great RS via Abilene way. I have heard he is contemplating a trip down south towards the great Sooner State this weekend, but is not certain of that. It is possible that he is currently contemplating the commentary for the great five 0 0 0.

The mention of the Stuckeys reminds me of the great Waunita and her confusion of the religious association with Stuckeys. It seems as if back in its hey day Stuckeys were located all across the nation. She was telling me about coming upon them on the interstate and seeing signs designating their stores. “Stuckeys 5 miles ahead, Praise God” one would read, then a couple of miles down the road, “You’ve never tasted anything so heavenly as Stuckeys Pecan Rolls, 2 Miles Ahead.” Then there would be another, “On the 8th day God created Stuckeys at the next exit.” Waunita would be convinced that there was something to the religious symbolism but wasn’t for certain until she had passed the last exit. Just a few hundred feet past the last Stuckeys exit was the last sign that caused her great confusion, it read, “You just passed Stuckeys, go to H.e. double hockey sticks.”

Swayz is OK, but just sent me a text about setting a beer on the head of a 4'7" woman with a unibrow. I tried to talk him out of the situation but then realized that it was his ticket out of the fudge packing business.