Tell him to watch out, she may have a Stuckey's pecan roll in her pocket for alterior purposes

Is Waunita a fan of Eric Clapton's Kinks Lola?

transposed the song a bit, Layla-Clapton/Lola-Kinks- but great call!!!! i also hear she and Swayz may be slow dancing to it at this very moment in a small Abilene bar

"....walks like a girl but talks like a man,,,,LLLLLLLOla,,,,"

Run Swayz run!

lol ... I can hear Waunita now questioning Swayz! "Is that a pecan log roll in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"

Any word from the swayz? heard something on the ham radio about a trail of pecan roll crumbs and unibrow hair being sighted along the I-70 corridor---We are extremely worried about the swayz.....

He just sent me a text and said he was leaving Chapman toward OKC. He was strangely silent about last night. It's probably better left alone. What happens in Abilene, stays in Abilene.

Does Waunita drive a late model Monte Carlo, red and decked out with Area 51 on her tag? If so I just spoted her at the West Side Wal Mart in Wichita off of Kellogg.

Oh boy...she's within a mile of my house. What should i do?!?!?!?

same drill as a nuclear attack, bend over and kiss your butt good bye...

Tell her Swayz is at your house. She wants "nothing to do with him ever again".

I'm afraid Waunita might have sabotaged Swayz's car. He broke down at 40th and May ave. last night and had to have it towed to Edmond where he spent the night. Randy, you might want to hire a food taster for a few months, just to be safe.

Deere family trip update

INternet is scarce, even a dial up connection in our cabin headquarters in the lincoln forest in Ruidoso. I am writing from the Quarters Bar in Ruidoso, across from a group of bikers giving me the evil eye as i gave them a description of Waunita (most of the females in their group could be her evil or not so evil twin.) If you have never been in this area you should come out sometime, it is a nice resort area that just recently is booming.

As we pulled out of Big Texan Steakhouse and hotel Amarillo on Sunday, the Kinks LOLA came on the xm radio, a sure sign that we are on the right track. We saw the most recent entry in the free 72 oz steak eater and we are dead sure it was her. I also found Swayz number carved into the bathroom stall.

We will retrace our roots back to Roswell on the 5th to hit the UFO festival hard. We have many pictures from our photo safari and have only a couple of black eyes to show......

Swayz, drop us a line, we need your help

Tried to eat the big 72 back in the 80’s… it wasn’t pretty! They rolled me out and called an ambulance. Did you see the Cadillac ranch right off the highway just west of Amarillo?

If you saw Swayz's number carved in a bathroom stall ... I would assume it was in the men's room! Now, if Swayz's number was carved in the wall of a men's room ... I have a couple of concerns!!!

And Red ... I am sympathetic with the dilemma you described! That of getting all those enhancement e-mails and questioning how they knew of your problems!!!

I believe those are "spam" because I am getting them too! And clearly, I don't need their services!!!

Swayz came stumbling into my house about 4:00 this morning, and he looked dreadful. He was pale, and big, well I guess that's not anything different but still, he looked worse than usual. He did talk of some of his adventure and of how in trying to escape "bigfoot" he drove through some deep water and his car shortly after broke down. He had it towed a "hundred miles" courtesy of AAA and finally found shelter at some cheap rundown hotel. He then talked of going to the casino and spending a small fortune. He also made a new "friend" which would now explain to me why his number was in a men's bathroom in Texas. All I can say for sure about Swayz, is that he has been tainted and he is still haunted by phantoms of the recent past.

p.s. if you ever see him somewhere that alcohol is served, you should probably make sure nobody buys him any liquor, as it doesn't take much for him to make bad decisions

It (swayz name) carved in the mens room but also on a bench outside of the restaurant accentuated with red lipstick. Last evening here in Ruidoso, after leaving biker bar in one piece ( my group had to dance for our dinner to Thriller to make it past some guy named Butch) we were taking in the pine nightfall when Gage sighted a large hair covered creature just outside of our cabin lights. All ten boys and myself ventured out a bit and attempted to get photographic evidence of the beast--it was either a black bear or waunita, but did not respond to the Swayz bait--we heard loud moaning but were too frightened to go any further

tonite, off to the fireworks in capitan NM, home of smokey the bear, rodeo, bbq and fun for all, definitely will be on the waunita look out

Have been here in beautiful (well sort of anyway} Bakersfield
California. It is barren and as of yesterday HOT. However, as I have been told it is a dry heat. I am on my way to San Jose this morning to entertain several thousand Mennonites at a conference tomorrow and to see my daughter speak today. Then to wonderful Fresno California for 2 presentations before coming back to Bakersfield and departure home on Tuesday.

This area is barren, except for oil well valley which has oil wells as far as you can see. It is kind of nice to see the orange tree groves and all of the produce that is being grown in this barren land. I was told of someone the other day that met Waunita's description who was gleening some of the fruit orchards near here. When we further investigated, we found out it was someone else.

On a wrestling side bar, I did have a wrestling friend and his mother drive up from Ventura, almost a 3 hour drive to see me the other day. My host didn't quite know what to expect as we cleared out the living room furniture so I could demonstrate a few wrestling moves with him.

Will be looking more for Waunita this morning on the drive to San Jose, hopefully she hasn't caused too much trouble, if she is even here.

BTW Klint did you get the roast and sides done this time. Want to hear about it. I heard the hotdog contest was yesterday, would like to see those folks trying the 72 OZ roast there in Texas. Come to think of it, didn't I see someone who looked like Waunita in the 50,000+ crowd yesterday at the hotdog contest? Maybe we have been going in the wrong direction.

It probably was Waunita Mike. i had heard that the three events that she never misses are the National Hot Dog eating contest, Beaver's cow chip throwing contest and any tractor pull event that she can get to. One more distinguishing characteristic to identify her is a new tattoo that says "RH" right along her belt line at the base of her back. I can't imagine what that stands for though?

Yesterday I came so close. After I departed from San Jose California on my way to Fresno in what was supposed to be a 2 hour drive, that took 5 hours, I got in a horrific traffic jam. Nothing like being stuck in traffic on a two lane road in the California Mountains. I was fortunate that I had made a previous stop at a local fruit stand, there is also nothing like fresh cherries or apricots that were picked that day. The traffic jam literally lasted several hours but it wasn't so bad with the scenery and mountains.

After getting up to where the traffic jam started to clear, the officer told me about a lady fitting Waunita's description whom had been caught hitch hiking and causing a rukas after her car had broken down. The officer in the description described how she continued to talk about "getting that former law man back in Kansas," I assumed she was talking about Sir Randy, but knew for certain it must have been her when she stated that if she "found that Sweazy guy I may have to put a few apricot pits where the sun don't shine." The officer wouldn't go into any more details. I would say, those apricots are so good right off the tree that Swayz can hope Waunita eats all of them prior to placing the pits in her desired location.

I'll keep an eye out but don't know if I'll come that close to her again in the time I have left here. Leaving on Tuesday morning and speaking tomorrow and on Monday. I hope to see the Sequoya's (sp?) today and have a little R&R but for some reason I think my new hosts has things planned for me. Whew! A vacation sure would be nice.